Welcome Olympic Gamblers to the Most Ridiculously-Big Pool in Olympic History. To put it in the words of Ares, the Greek God of War, "This is going to wicked-sick-awesome."
I am Huanhuan, The Flaming God of Peace and Betting. I will be your host for this summer's festivities. I will help guide you through the selection process, provide you with news and updates throughout the games, and act as Pool Overlord for any of you jerks who step out of line or try to bend the rules. Got it? Good.
Should you choose to wade into this monster, you will be required to make over 310 selections in 44 sports. Happy Huanhuan and my godly pals Jingjing (God of Cheating and Winning) and Yingying (God of Money Collection and Knee Breaking), have made things easy for you though. We've spent way, way too much time putting together a spreadsheet with all of the top contenders for each event in Easy-PikTM drop-down menus. All you need to do is select a name for each event.
As if that wasn't easy enough, we've also added links to super-helpful resources for each sport...a few media sites, international body rankings, and gambling sites with bookie odds.
Jingjing says: You'll note that we are not the gods of Accuracy, Spell-checking, or Formatting; so we don't guarantee in anyway that the contender lists are complete, presented in any particular order, qualified to compete in Beijing, or even alive. In fact, it could well be that we have whole lists of contenders next to the wrong event...which would really mess you up!
Keep Reading:
Read all of what follows. There is some very important information on this page still, OK? OK.
As with our Torino Pool, entrants will be given the opportunity to win 10 Superpower Points in the SCANDAL! Tally Competition. Each time a sticky-rice situation (doping scandal, terrorist strike, Golden Palace Casino stunt, green sludge invasion, etc.) surfaces, the SCANDAL! DECIDER, Moosemoose (a highly trained Bernese Mountain Dog) will, in her sole discretion, decide if it merits SCANDAL! STATUS. Any entrant who correctly chooses the exact number of SCANDALS! in the official SCANDAL! TALLY at the time the flame is extinguished will win 10 Superpower Points.
I am Huanhuan, The Flaming God of Peace and Betting. I will be your host for this summer's festivities. I will help guide you through the selection process, provide you with news and updates throughout the games, and act as Pool Overlord for any of you jerks who step out of line or try to bend the rules. Got it? Good.
Should you choose to wade into this monster, you will be required to make over 310 selections in 44 sports. Happy Huanhuan and my godly pals Jingjing (God of Cheating and Winning) and Yingying (God of Money Collection and Knee Breaking), have made things easy for you though. We've spent way, way too much time putting together a spreadsheet with all of the top contenders for each event in Easy-PikTM drop-down menus. All you need to do is select a name for each event.
As if that wasn't easy enough, we've also added links to super-helpful resources for each sport...a few media sites, international body rankings, and gambling sites with bookie odds.
Jingjing says: You'll note that we are not the gods of Accuracy, Spell-checking, or Formatting; so we don't guarantee in anyway that the contender lists are complete, presented in any particular order, qualified to compete in Beijing, or even alive. In fact, it could well be that we have whole lists of contenders next to the wrong event...which would really mess you up!Keep Reading:
Read all of what follows. There is some very important information on this page still, OK? OK.
How to Earn Beijing Superpower Points:
After each event, we will evaluate each entrants selections against the event's medallists. You will earn one point if you selected the Bronze Medallist, two if the Silver Medallist and a whopping 3 Beijing Superpower Points if you picked the Gold Medallist.
How to Win the Supergreat Fun Pool Time:
After the Olympics, the entrant with the most Superpower Points will be named the Supergreat Fun Pool Gold Medallist Time! The Gold winner will receive great honour from all other entrants...cash. $15/entrant will go to the Goldie. The Silver Medallist will receive $7/entrant, and the Bronze Medallist will receive $3. That's if you still have knees.
How to Lose the Supergreat Fun Pool Time:
If you really aren't good at these types of things and you come in last, you will be awarded the "Stacy Bell Basement Dweller Not-Fun Time Award". The winner of this award must impose a mark of shame (a Henna tattoo to be selected by the other entrants by open ballOt) on an exposed section of flesh for no less than one week.
After each event, we will evaluate each entrants selections against the event's medallists. You will earn one point if you selected the Bronze Medallist, two if the Silver Medallist and a whopping 3 Beijing Superpower Points if you picked the Gold Medallist.
How to Win the Supergreat Fun Pool Time:
After the Olympics, the entrant with the most Superpower Points will be named the Supergreat Fun Pool Gold Medallist Time! The Gold winner will receive great honour from all other entrants...cash. $15/entrant will go to the Goldie. The Silver Medallist will receive $7/entrant, and the Bronze Medallist will receive $3. That's if you still have knees.
How to Lose the Supergreat Fun Pool Time:
If you really aren't good at these types of things and you come in last, you will be awarded the "Stacy Bell Basement Dweller Not-Fun Time Award". The winner of this award must impose a mark of shame (a Henna tattoo to be selected by the other entrants by open ballOt) on an exposed section of flesh for no less than one week.
The SCANDAL! Side-bet:
As with our Torino Pool, entrants will be given the opportunity to win 10 Superpower Points in the SCANDAL! Tally Competition. Each time a sticky-rice situation (doping scandal, terrorist strike, Golden Palace Casino stunt, green sludge invasion, etc.) surfaces, the SCANDAL! DECIDER, Moosemoose (a highly trained Bernese Mountain Dog) will, in her sole discretion, decide if it merits SCANDAL! STATUS. Any entrant who correctly chooses the exact number of SCANDALS! in the official SCANDAL! TALLY at the time the flame is extinguished will win 10 Superpower Points.To Enter:
1. Get the File: "SFPT - Selection Template.xls" from someone...Huanhuan (Grant), Jingjing (Emma) and Yingying (Helmut "Colin" Ripper) will be sending it out. Email us if you need one.
2. Enter all of your selections by either
a) Selecting a name from the drop-down list next to each event in COLUMN D (the yellow one); OR
b) Entering a name that doesn't appear in the list in COLUMN E.
1. Get the File: "SFPT - Selection Template.xls" from someone...Huanhuan (Grant), Jingjing (Emma) and Yingying (Helmut "Colin" Ripper) will be sending it out. Email us if you need one.
2. Enter all of your selections by either
a) Selecting a name from the drop-down list next to each event in COLUMN D (the yellow one); OR
b) Entering a name that doesn't appear in the list in COLUMN E.
c) Enter the number of SCANDALS! you think will appear in the light blue field at the top of the document.
Note: If you type a name into Column E that appears in the drop-down list of Column D (even if we had the spelling wrong), you will not receive points. There are just too damn many events to not have this work automatically!
3. Send your form and the entry fee to us before the end of day, August 7th. The document is formatted for printing so you can follow along at home.
3. Send your form and the entry fee to us before the end of day, August 7th. The document is formatted for printing so you can follow along at home.
May you all have great fortune and prosperity in your gambling efforts!
1 comment:
This is going to be excellent people! I highly encourage participation.
I assume the Lambertuzzi will be making an appearance (i.e. donation) to this pool. Lambertuzzi I look forward to - AGAIN - beating your sorry a$$ into oblivion. I am open to side bets on the margin of domination that Yingying will display.
Here is some more about my new persona for this Pool as I'll be retiring Helmut Ripper temporarily.
Yingying: Strong in track and field events, Yingying is a quick-witted and agile boy who represents the yellow Olympic ring.
Supergreat Happy Funtime!
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